Keeley's Brain

Our pretty gold 2006 Kia Spectra is sitting out front right now. I've driven around in it a bit to try and become accustomed to the transmition that doesn't require me mashing the clutch every time I want to shift gears and brakes that work the second I touch the pedal with my foot. It's also bigger, Chris actually has headroom and his knees aren't crammed against the dashboard. However, that means I've already come a little too close to other objects while turning and parking. I'm also going to have to find some way of decorating the exterior in a way that will make it easier for me to identify it in a parking lot because I've already lost it more times than I can count and actually tried to open the wrong car in the parking lot this morning.
Details include; 71,052 miles. Manual. Air Conditioning. Power Windows. Power Doors. Cruise Control. Tilt Wheel. AM/FM Stereo. CD Player. Air Bags. Rear Defrost. Cost us 5,000$, we shall soon be taking it in to be fully checked over for any glaring problems but so far it seems to be in pretty good shape. It's only had one previous owner who kept up on maintenance.

There are no words for how happy/relieved I am about this car.

I mentioned in passing to my dad that I'd used Google Maps to look at the house. Next thing I know I'm guiding him through the step-by-step process of using Google Maps... Right now I've got him on speaker phone and have Google Maps on my computer screen as the two of us walk around the old neighborhood where he grew up in Kansas.
My favorite story is about how Grandpa threatened to take a bulldozer to the neighbors' tool shed.

...

Several hours later...

New CAR!

One of my littles had a birthday today; she got to decorate a birthday crown, we sang Happy Birthday and celebrated with cupcakes. There were three left over so when mom came to pick her up, I let her know that she could take them home. She opted not to- this isn't uncommon, for some reason parents aren't interested in bringing home extra sugar... then in the evening younger and older kids were brought into my class so the rest of the center could be closed and as I left I fended off kids who weren't in my class originally who felt they should have one of those three last cupcakes.
This isn't unusual either; however the parent who came to pick up his kid, took a look at the cupcakes and promptly asked if he could have one....

*insert Keeley's brain explody here*

Combination of having to visit the ladies room, waking up with the cat and my husband fighting over who got to sleep on top of me (claustrophobic Keeley almost had a freak out) and waking up on my back- which causes said back to seize up in a nasty way.

So I share a neat story before trying to get back to sleep.

Yesterday morning I was in the toddler room, chasing two-year-olds away from the stacks of chairs that they like to knock over and off the tables, when a co-worker poked her head in from the outside toddler play area. She said a bird had flown into the wall and was sitting on the ground and she was worried the kids wouldn't leave it alone and was not sure what to do about the bird. I grabbed a pair of gloves and a plastic bag, figuring I was going to have to dispose of a body. Instead I found a tiny little guy sitting stunned on the sidewalk. He fluttered a bit as I picked him up and looked at me in confusion- not sure what this large funny animal was doing? I set him up on the fence by the berry bushes to get his bearings again and within a few minutes he was off and working on those flying skills again but I couldn't get over how small he'd felt when I picked him up. I was actually afraid that I was going to hurt him if he started struggling but I think he was just too dazed to do more than wiggle a little as I moved him.

For anyone interested, Wednesday before last I went in to work feeling nauseous and tired and horribly congested (as has been the case for the last two weeks). I got 'light duty' for the day, scrubbing floorboards and walls in my classroom since I can't be alone with the kids. Later in the afternoon I was cleaning up an art project and putting the glue away in a cupboard when I started to feel dizzy, so I sat down on the floor to try and stop the world from wobbling. I could hear the other teacher who was in the room yelling at me, asking if I was okay. Apparently I told her I was dizzy, but fine and then promptly toppled over. I wasn't out for more than a few seconds but it was enough for me to get a trip to the hospital- Chris' dad came and got me since driving was out of the question (and I wouldn't have been able to find the hospital on my own anyway). After six hours, blood tests, urine tests and an EKG; I was diagnosed with Syncopy- which is fancy doctor talk for exhaustion. Upper respitory infection + overwork= Keeley fall down. Plenty of bed rest and taking things easy have helped and I'm on the road to recovery, even though I occasionally sound like a frog and/or a squeaky toy.
Best part was sitting in the emergency room with Chris' dad and threatening to draw a smiley face on my face mask with a sharpie marker. I was told I wasn't allowed to do this because it would look bad if the doctor came to examine me and I was high on marker fumes, I can't imagine why...


Good times.


On a totally unrealated note, Friday was not a complete bust as I got to take my kiddos to the pumpkin patch (Stoneyridge Farm) we then got back and changed into our pajamas- I got to wear my brand new Snoopy Halloween PJ pants and my Elmo slippers. We made pumpkin bread and even though things were crazy as only the day before Halloween can be, it was still fun. I was mostly disgruntled that the center said we couldn't celebrate my favorite holiday by wearing costumes and letting the kids trick-or-treat around the center like we did back at D st.
I understand the reasoning for people not wanting to celebrate Halloween, but honestly kids aren't going to care about the history of Halloween, all they care about is candy and wearing a costume.

No pumpkin, no decorating, no 'Halloween' movies or music, no trick-or-treating, no haunted house, the costume I spend a rather impressive bit of money on (for me anyway) spent the evening on the floor by the couch while I surfed myspace apps and ignored the several hour long miniatures game that turned into a several hour long discussion of how the rules for said game had to be completely re-written.

Where did my Halloween go?

Not surprisingly, after last nights' lack of sleep I went over to see Chris' parents and ended up sleeping for several hours in the guest bedroom that has a crazy comfy bed. There's something strangely comforting curling up in the bedroom that Chris grew up in with his parents downstairs. Best sleep I've had for a while.

The VA (Veterans Affairs) has a fund set up for people in the military, you do your time and when you get out, they pay you enough money to help you get through school. The Navy adds to this with the Navy College Fund so that a person should be able to go to school full time and still be able to afford to live. Sounds like a GREAT idea and it's the main reason a lot of people sign up for the military.
Let me get out the magnifying glass so we can look at the fine print. First of all, they won't pay for your school unless you're IN school. In order to get money for school- you have to be in school, even though you can't be in school unless you pay for it first. Everyone got that down?

Now, even though you somehow manage to come up with the money to go to school and are attending, you have to keep up a certain GPA or else they inform you that you weren't taking the classes you paid for and they want you to pay it back, and if you've been using the money they've been sending you to pay for classes and living and can't pay them back every cent immediately, they're going to stop sending you money. They'll keep the money they'd be sending you and apply it to the debt, never mind that without that money you can't go to school so they won't be actually putting anything towards your debt and you won't be able to get back into school.

So maybe through some strange miracle you manage to get that debt paid off and can afford to get back into school, now you're back taking classes- trying to stay full time because they won't pay enough to go to school and live on unless you're full time (and scrambling to find enough credits to take during the summer when some colleges don't have a full time class load for some degrees) - and keep your grades up. But wait, there's a break between summer and fall quarters. It's about three weeks and the VA looks at that decides you don't need your benefits for that period of time. Meaning that even though you're still paying for schooling and still paying for bills and that funny thing we all need called food- the VA decides you only need 1/4 to 1/2 of what they'd normally be paying you. They do this for two months and if you can't pay for full time classes on the couple hundred bucks they toss your way, well that's not their problem is it?

I wonder how many people went into the military, did their time and served their country, only to find that the money they'd been promised for college is so wrapped up in red tape that they can't quite access it... how many gave up because you can spend days trying to get in touch with the VA office and still not get any help. I wonder how much money hasn't been paid to these people who finally had to get a full time job and couldn't manage working full time and going to school full time (I can barely manage full time work and a three credit class, I don't know how people juggle more). How many people walked away from college and their dreams.

Yup, still not able to sleep.

Halfway through the night my body wakes me up; my body aches, I need to get something to drink, hit the bathroom, it's too hot/cold and I need to get another blanket/take off the blanket I'm sleeping under, whatever the reason- I'm awake. And instead of just turning over and going back to sleep like I'd love to do, my brain decides this is a good time to start thinking about all the things I haven't managed to get done, all the things that I'm worried about and all the little things that are bothering me. As all those things chase themselves around in my head, my stomach gets into the act and I find a painful, nauseating knot twisting and tightening in my gut. It feels like someone punched me.
This is why I'm not sleeping well at night, and lack of sleep makes me more stressed so I get even less sleep.

There are two three to four-year-old classrooms at our center. A difficult child was brought into the other classroom because when I was consulted, I said that I'd need a smaller class size to be able to give him the time and attention he'd need and that I didn't think it would be a good idea to have him in the same classroom with the other special needs child they'd already placed with me. It was agreed that enrollment would be kept low in the other classroom and that incoming students would go into my class. This meant that I had (at the time) seven children enrolled and the other class had five and two of my children leave for special schooling during the first half of the day. Ratio for my age group is ten children to one teacher and we had two classrooms with only five children during the day- can't have that, combine the two classrooms to fill one for half the day and when the other two children come back from school we'll just shift one child to the two to three-year-old class and never mind routine and stability. And the child who I specifically requested be kept in a low-enrollment classroom and not in with our other child who requires special attention? He's crammed into my now full class with the other kids and expected to just cope (and by coping we mean he poked another child in the eye with a stick the other day and has been doing FABULOUS- yes that's sarcasm). Then we enrolled another child in the class leaving me with eleven children in the morning and rather than bring another teacher into the class to cover that one child out of ratio, we have another child shifted around. Have I mentioned that I absolutely HATE ratio?

I also hate my Boot Camp cleaning list. Two pages of things in my class that have to be scrubbed until they're absolutely immaculate including the floorboards, walls, toys and toy bins, classroom furniture, windows and windowsills, shelves, trash cans, bathroom and changing table. When I mentioned that getting this done would take several hours, possibly an entire day to finish, I was told that none of the other teachers were being given extra time to do their lists (guess how many of them have actually done everything on their lists?) and that even though getting this list done WAS considered part of my job, they weren't going to pay me to do it outside of my normal hours.

Speaking of hours... I was working 7:30 to 4:30 with an hour break to go home and catch a quick nap. I had no problem with this schedule and was doing great until the numbers in the classrooms dropped. Suddenly there's too many teachers in the morning and and rather than have a teacher who isn't in a classroom come in later, they decide to shift me to later hours, the problem with that being that they want me to work from 9:00 to 5:30 and that means I'm only getting a half hour lunch hour. But I'm sleeping in right? Getting more sleep in the morning? Oh right, I'm having trouble sleeping and the change in schedule has only made that worse, I'm actually getting LESS sleep and working later. I finally broke down and begged them to let me come in at 8:30 and take an hour long break- they wouldn't have to pay me overtime because I'd be taking a longer break and maybe getting my nap would help with the sleep problems. They refused. If I want to stay EVEN LATER in the evenings, getting home around 6:00 is hard enough and I'd still have to go home early (cutting my hours short) if numbers were low.

Funny thing- every time they've brought me into the office and asked my opinion of a change that's about to be made and I've made a request- they've gone out of their way to NOT accommodate me. I asked to continue working with four to five-year-olds, after reassuring me that they'd do their best to let me do that, they put me in with three to four-year-olds. I asked them to take out the changing table, they agreed that it wasn't necessary in my class and yet it's still sitting there. I asked for lower class numbers if a child was placed with me and/or he be placed in another class and they put him in my class with a full ratio. I agreed to tentatively take a later shift- with the option to change it if it wasn't working out. So when I learned it wasn't working, I requested to be able to take an hour break and they tried to push me into a closing shift (which can go until 7:00). Why bother asking what I think about a change being made when you're going to do whatever the heck you want (and most likely the opposite of whatever I ask to be done) regardless?

My CPR clearance expired on October 2, partially my fault because I missed the class that was offered in September, however the people who arrange CPR classes for our center never got back to me on getting into another class until NOW to tell me that they aren't offering another one until November. And no one realized that my CPR had expired until the 13th- meaning I've been left alone in the classroom with no one saying a word until now. Suddenly I can't under any circumstances be in my classroom unless there's another adult present, and we're too short staffed to allow me to be in with another teacher so they've got people filling in for me who aren't familiar with my classroom and seem incapable of handling my kids because every time I walk in I find it more and more trashed. I get to go in after lunch (and clean up the lunch mess/change diapers) to put the kids to sleep for nap, wake them up and give them snack (then clean up nap and snack mess/change diapers) and take them outside. That's not teaching, that's babysitting. I'm told I'm supposed to do lesson plans but since I'm not in the class to carry those lesson plans out, I don't see the point.

People at work are confused as to why I've been so sick these last two weeks- I'm sure it has absolutely NOTHING to do with anything I just posted about. Pure coincidence.

Typically I don't bother on either of my blogs anymore (because I forget that I need to keep up with these things- oops). If I'm on the computer, I'm doing homework, playing WoW or catching up on my online comics. Anyone who knows me is aware of how distracted I get, it's my specialty. Some days I feel like I can barely focus enough to get my shoes tied...
We had to do a re-install of my OS on my computer (there are no words for how much fun that is), I'm just lucky that I have a computer-savy husband who is willing to sit down and beat his head on the keyboard for a while to get things to work for me.
This unfortunately means I have to re-download everything- including all my music, one CD at a time so I can get them on my iPod. iTunes doesn't do download well when I'm running WoW.... I'm gonna be here a while.
It's given me some time to sit and surf a bit. It also gives me a few seconds to drop notes on my blogs and let people know I'm still alive, if a bit scatterbrained (nothing new there).

My family should be aware that I'm not deliberately not communicating with them- I just usually think of calling them at strange times like 11 at night and I'm aware that isn't a good time. I need to e-mail my sister and let her know I still love her...

I think if I tried to do all the online stuff on my daily list every day, I'd probably never get off the computer *grumble*

Anyway, been in a thoughtful kinda "miss everyone I've ever been friends with" mood, wanting to get in touch with everyone and tell them how great it's been knowing them and that I hope they still consider me a friend, even though I am TERRIBLE at keeping in touch. You'd think with all the technology we have, I would be better keeping up with people.

I've been nasty sick the last two days with some kind of sinus bug, my wonderful husband dragged the mattress into the living room so I could lay down and watch my favorite movies on Netflix through our X-Box. Eating lots of chicken noodle soup and drinking some tea Jamie gave us. Tazo Zen green tea, it does a fantastic job of knocking me out- I highly recommend it to anyone who isn't feeling well and don't want to be conscious.

It started with Norwescon. We didn't get to go this year so Chris is determined that we go next year and has already planned for a chunk of our tax return to go towards getting us there and getting a hotel room for the weekend. That's in April. Then Chris' parents learned that they have family in Colorado, a family trip next August is in the works to go visit them and my family together. My parents called me and let me know that the exchange student "brother" who stayed with us for a year when I was in elementary school is coming to visit in July with his wife- I haven't seen them in years, this may be the only chance to see them again ever because they live in Holland and I don't see myself being able to visit any time in the future. And there's a very important wedding happening between my best friend (who I don't keep in touch with enough and I'm very sorry and she's a great friend for still loving me:) and the very lucky, very wonderful guy who's agreed to spend the rest of his life with her. That's in May. And PAX is in September, this is also something important.

There has to be a way for me to somehow manage three trips to Colorado and two Con weekends... why hasn't someone invented a teleporter yet??!

Mike is way more eloquent than I am, so I let him do the talking for me.
Again, I encourage people to swing by and check his blog out.

"Infantile spasms is a harsh disease. There's few places to find any tangible information, and even including present company, blogs are at best a personal specific saga for a disease that manifests itself differently in every child. Recently, CBS News didn't consider fact checking the name of the disease prior to featuring a parent who deals with the disease day in and day out on the evening national news. For sure, CBS is at fault for not checking the correct disease name, but we mostly toil invisibly taking care of our afflicted children and omissions like this cut deeply.


The Child Neurology Society has an annual meeting, it sounds like an amazing environment for neurologists to get together, share treatments, discuss difficult patients, and gain some insight to the various issues that are unique to neurological issues in our children. To subsidize the event, they have corporate donors, drawn throughout the pharmaceutical and medical industries. Meeting sponsorship is common for meetings such as this- the costs of doing business are immense.


This year, the same as last year, Questcor of ACTH fame, is a major sponsor of the event. In fact, this year, Questcor and the Child Neurology Foundation have announced the creation of infantile spasms awareness week. This week is supposed to take place October 11th through October 17th. I'd like to consider myself fairly well educated on the disease, I think we all are as parents of infantile spasms sufferers. If we don't, treatments and medicines may not be tried, and it's not fair for our children if we just go with the flow.


I've attempted to contact the public relations company as listed on the press release by phone and by email with no success- they won't return any of my communications. What's the agenda for infantile spasms awareness week? Questcor frequently beats the drum of raising awareness and raising the quality of life for IS sufferers. Advocating infantile spasms awareness at a neurology convention is like promoting pork products at a barbecue convention. The audience you're promoting to already knows about the disease!


Please, do have an infantile spasms awareness week. We've all already been diagnosed, but you can help the next generation of IS sufferer. How many of our children would have been diagnosed sooner if our pediatricians were aware of the disease? I agree early and aggressive treatment of IS can affect the prognosis of the children that suffer from it, but neurologists are not who you need to tell. The message needs to be heard at all levels of child care, medical and not. Tell pediatricians, tell parents, tell daycare centers. Don't focus your efforts on educational materials for parents and neurologists so your medicine is prescribed- tell the people who encounter the disease first.


Parents of IS kids or for that matter, bloggers anywhere- feel free to repeat this entire text in your blogs. The information point of contact for infantile spasms awareness week is Mr. Mark Leonard (mark@reachthenextlevel.com) and his phone number is 847-267-9660. If you choose to contact Mr. Leonard, be polite.


-Mike

Marissa’s Dad

http://www.marissasbunny.com"

Last night of homework... one more reading, four more discussion posts, eight more replies...
And then I'm DONE! Expect a few more posts that are incoherent interspersed with screaming, whimpering and moaning...

Why do I suddenly hear a familiar voice chanting, "common, one more, you can do it, one more..."

*Edit: Discussion post I'm not allowed to make; "Theories are like assholes, everyone has one and they all fucking stink!"

It's 11:48 pm and I have one more discussion post to make as well as two replies, which means I wade through posts made by everyone else and desperately try to think of replies.
harbldaglarg!
I don't wanna!
Harry and Rosemary Wong look like a scary missionary couple who come to church and ask (guilt) you into giving them money so they can 'convert' kids in third world countries... but I'm not allowed to say that in class or I'll be burned as a heretic.

"Read the Wongs' articles each month, and if you're lucky enough to see Harry at one of his speaking engagements around the country, thank him for his generous contributions to teachers everywhere!!!"

Does 'thanking' him with a 9mm to the head count?

"Okay, that's messed up. I'm online doing my homework for early childhood education and we're discussing sodomy."
At which point Michael Jackson was mentioned and my attention span was SHOT for the next several minutes.

Somewhere out there, there's a meme with a list of "Name a friend who drives you crazy, name a friend who makes you laugh, etc" with 90% of the answers being "Keeley, when she's being stupid." Thank you Katsu.

I have some incredible friends. People who have seen me do some of the dumbest things and probably wanted to strangle me, but who still hang in there. People I can call, even now after being out of touch like I am (some day, they're all going to line up and smack me for it) and still talk to them without being left wondering if they're actually my friends. I'm grateful for all of those wonderful people. I'm thankful that I've known them and that they're good enough people to continue to reach out to me when I ask for them. I miss them greatly tonight when I've had to question things around me and been left with the conflicting impulses to go charging out with my baseball bat and/or walk away and wash my hands of everything in disgust.
Instead I'm dusting off my LJ for a moment to say thank you to everyone who still loves me, in spite of the fact that I'm often "Keeley, when she's being stupid."
You guys rock.

A few notes: New Transformers movie doesn't suck. There were moments when I actually enjoyed myself, still resent the pimping of my childhood.

I got a B- in both my classes *celebrates not failing*

I've met some new people - Conrad and Jamie and am in the middle of a Sabbat and Exhalted game with them (and a Steve and Cliff person. And another cool guy named Scott). They're good people AND they own ferrets, a snodgy cat named Oz and a bearded lizard.


May update more at some point. Maybe. For now, I'm off to snuggle with Mr. Blanket and Mr. Pillow.

For people who haven't spoken with me recently, I direct your attention to a new blog I've been following online: www.marissasbunny.com. I'm encouraging EVERYONE to go read this blog and learn about this amazing family, they've got one of the cutest (my nieces being more cute of course) little girls in the world who has a pretty nasty condition- IS (Infantile Spasms, or epilepsy). What her family is doing blows my mind, taking care of her and dealing with the pressure and stress and having the courage to go online to spread awareness. I would love for my friends to visit the blog and leave just a note letting Marissa's dad know that he's reaching people. And honestly, just from reading- Marissa's dad is our kind of people anyway. ^_^
So, go see the Cute- you must see the Cute!

I WANT ONE!!!

http://urbanlegends.about.com/b/2008/10/10/talking-doll-allegedly-says-islam-is-the-light.htm

http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=5826&e=cuddle

*wonders if she could requisition one for her classroom*

http://www.snopes.com/business/alliance/dolltalk.asp

I apparently need to get this also
http://www.wpri.com/dpp/news/strange_news/offbeat_wthi_terrehaute_islam_is_the_light_nintendo_0126200921532177991

Although in the comment section: "(44) Beatfox says:

I would just like to bring up the fact that the supposed “Islam is the light” speech is apparently a stock sound effect and was not made specifically for this doll. I am a QA tester for Crave Entertainment, which last year published the game “Baby Pals” for the Nintendo DS handheld console. In this game, when you are washing the baby, you can hear the exact same sound effect - except the sound quality is much clearer, and you can much more easily tell that it is genuine baby gibberish and not a message of any kind, subliminal or otherwise. :)"

Ah, mass hysteria, how I loathe thee....